After about a week in the camp, my dad called and asked how I was. I said that I was fine save for the spider bites, the sleep deprivation and the loss of appetite. The next day his cousin, whom he had previously severed relations with, invited me to stay at his place in Hay Yasmine, a clean and newly built neighborhood in West Amman. Yasmine is largely inhabited by Palestinians who either have family or business in the United States. Even before I met anyone or was told about the population’s makeup, the place felt more like Ramallah than Amman. It had something to do with the main commercial strip, where all the stores have gilded façades and interiors as if they belonged to Western chains, but house local merchants.
In my second cousin’s house, I now had a bedroom with a bed. Because his family was visiting Palestine, the house should have been quiet. However, in defiance of local zoning regulations, he was expanding all of his balconies so that they protruded an extra three feet each. For those who have never been to Palestine or Jordan, balconies are like the fucking SUVs of the region. The jack-hammering would wake me up around 10 AM, which was early for me because I was still jet-lagging (or that’s what I told people).
My second cousin introduced me to all the young men my age he knew from the neighborhood. They were all excited to know me and practice English. Jack-hammering notwithstanding, I now had the space (I always had the time) to read and study. Instead, I would pass afternoons wandering around the store where one such shab (or young man, singular for shabab, a social group of great importance here) worked. It was hard for me to bond/communicate with him in Arabic, and his English was all too clear for me to really like him. He is a young acolyte of the burgeoning gym culture here and showed me cell phone photos of him flexing for proof.
Another guy my age lived next to where I was staying. In the evenings he would pass by the driveway where I would be conveniently sitting, sipping tea served by my cousin’s Indonesian female house worker. Sometimes he would join me, other times we would go to the café with his friends. In Arabic, our conversation would follow semantic webs revolving around the first thing I saw (e.g. “water pump”). In English, we would share our ridiculous ambitions. He wanted to study business in the States and lose his virginity a thousand times over. I wanted to conduct a comparative study of Jordanian political parties. We were both tactful in showing our skepticism.
Soon after, I found a flat near the city center with a fellow Fulbright grantee and stopped taking all their calls. As all my fellow grantees began to arrive with their well-worn study materials and their day-planners with little checks next to the line items—as opposed to arrows repeatedly bouncing them to the following day, I began to regain time consciousness. I really do plan to call back the shabab one day, but not until they stop reminding me of how elusive routines remain for me.
Postscript: The days I spent with them reminded me of the summers I used to pass in Palestine. Back then, my cousins and I would wake up late, walk around, drink coffee, play cards, play pool, smoke shisha, drive around within the village or sometimes—if we had a registered car—to Ramallah to get a watermelon (for having with shisha), and get to bed before the fajr prayer. I never got any reading done in those days. All my cousins were unemployed and waiting for the opportunity to marry a girl from the village with American citizenship. They passed every day like I did my vacation with them.
Once I asked one of them, somewhat naively, why he did not have any hobbies or plans?
“You don’t understand.” He said. “Here, you have all the time, but you feel like you cannot do anything.”